Entries from July 2021 ↓

“WHAT A MAN NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT A WOMAN”                                                                                                   (From a sermon by Dr. Bobby Mullins at Central Baptist Church, Oak Ridge, TN 081207)

A few years ago, I remember watching one of the major network nightly news broadcasts, when they reported that a government study, which cost several million dollars, concluded that men and women are different. The amazing thing is that the news anchor announced the findings like it was a discovery that had never been known. Men have known through the ages that some things about women, and particularly the woman whom they married, take years to figure out how to correctly respond to some of their unexpected, practically unanswerable questions. Men and women are different in various ways, praise the Lord, in some gloriously different and blessed ways. But among those differences that are not so glorious to our wives, at times, is how we think differently. Sometimes, we think we are answering a question the way our wife wants us to, but our left brain thinking often produces an answer that is not what our wife’s right brain caring, sensitive, side is wanting to hear.

I came across a very helpful article in the July, 2005 Good Housekeeping magazine, by Beth Levine, which a female member of the church I pastor had given to me to pass on to my son prior to his marriage. For a man to learn from a woman who has spent years “training” her husband to be more flattering and sensitive, I believe it will greatly benefit a prospective husband to know “the right responses to some of the toughest questions women are likely to ask” that “make guys crazy . . . while the wheels spin in their heads: ‘What can I say that will get me out of here alive’ . . . and not leave skid marks trying to get away.” In this section, the questions and comments on why your wife is asking such a question and the bad answers and wrong answers are from Beth Levine’s article in Good Housekeeping. I have added an appropriate song that will go along with some of the questions as an extra way to answer the questions as well as further suggestions on a few of the questions. Let’s have some fun while we also receive some valuable insights.

How do you respond when your wife asks you, “What are you thinking about?” Her purpose in asking you that question is that she wants you to provide one little scrap of emotional content, which does not have to be earthshaking, just something that will bring her into your inner world. If you don’t have an inner world, quickly make one up. The wrong answer, “Do you think the Cubs will ever win the Series? A good answer is “You know why I get so upset over the Cubs? It reminds me of when I was little and my father used to . . . .” This provides her with a moving memory about your life that shows you have feelings and emotions.

What if your wife asks you, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” She is asking this because women have no idea what image to strive for when Hollywood stars are obnoxiously thin and the average woman is a size 12. A bad answer to this question is “No. Yes. I don’t know. Don’t ask me.” The right answer, “You look really great. Look at the curve they give you.” If your wife really does look a little portly, Mrs. Levine says to blame the clothes by telling her, “You know, those pants aren’t hitting you right.” I say on this one not to respond if the pants aren’t “hitting” her right. The best thing to do is find a way immediately for you to leave the scene.

What should you say if the question is asked, “Do you still love me the way you loved me when you really loved me?” This is a blatant appeal on your wife’s part for reassurance. She is probably feeling taken for granted and wondering if she has become an eternal source of meatloaf and clean clothes. Tell her yes, you love her, then give specifics (P.S.: This works even better when you say it without being asked first). A bad answer to this question is, “Yeah. Do you know where the remote is? Thanks.” The answer she needs to hear, “You know I love you. I don’t know how I’d get through life without you. Sometimes when you walk away from me and I see that little wiggle, I wonder how I ever got so lucky. I still can’t believe it.” An old Roy Clark song comes to mind, “I Still Get that Honeymoon Feeling.” Look up the lyrics for it and you will see what I mean. That’s a song to know by heart to use as a backup for similar questions like this one.

This next question is one that there is almost no right way to answer but Mrs. Levine gives some positive direction, “Do you think that woman is attractive?” She’s wanting to get a little stroked by you. The wrong answer to this question would be, “She is so hot. Why don’t you ever wear outfits like that?” Mrs. Levine’s suggested answer is, “On a scale of one to ten with you as the ten, I would say that she comes in at a (pick a number significantly lower than ten). I would say to start singing The Oak Ridge Boys song, “You’re the One in a Million.” My advice is make no scale pick from one to ten for the other woman at all. Sing “You’re the One in a Million” loud, and out of embarrassment your wife will ask you to stop and get the subject on something else, but in the depths of her heart she will be flattered.

What if you are asked, “Can we discuss something important to me?” Mrs. Levine’s insight as to why this question is asked is critical: “Incoming! Incoming! You are about to be yelled at for something you did or didn’t do. Quick! Think, man, think!” The wrong answer, “OK, what did I do now?” The right answer is, “Sure, honey, if it’s important to you, you know it’s important to me.” As a backup for your safety, Mrs. Levine suggests that your goal, however, is to play for time by disarming and diverting, if you feel you are really going to get it. Bring up something immediately that will get her mind on someone else or something else to vent about.

Here’s a question you will certainly be asked at some time in your marriage by your wife, “Do you wish I still looked the way I did when we first met?” She asks because she feels like Mother Time is creeping up on her. Her stomach has lost its tone, her eyelids droop, and her upper arms have turned to Jell-O. A bad answer, “Gee, you were so pretty then. I mean, you’re pretty now, too, but back then you were really something. Wait! I didn’t mean that the way it came out . . . don’t hurt me.” A good answer, “What? You mean you don’t?” A great song to know the lyrics for is “I Love You Just the Way You Are.” You might do a lyric search for a song about one’s wife where she gets better the longer you are together, but avoid any lyric that has the word “older” in it, even if it is saying the older you get the better you get. She will not want to hear any reference to “old” or “older.”

Although this is a totally unfair question for your wife to ask, be ready for it, “Do you ever think about your old girlfriend?” She asks because of curiosity, maybe, and, yes, insecurity. The worst answer you could give is, “Sure. Sometimes I wonder what she’s up to now. She was really fun.” Mrs. Levine’s suggested answer is, “Only on those nights when I wake up screaming. Please don’t remind me.” Be thankful if you are asked this question for Garth Brooks’, “Unanswered Prayers.” It is about this exact subject of he and his wife running into his old high school flame at a hometown football game and thanking God that he did not marry his high school girlfriend, but found his true love when he met and then married his wife.

This is a question to be prepared for with the personal makeover, even cosmetic surgery, television programs, “Wouldn’t I look better if I had a nose job, tummy tuck, eye job, etc?” She is asking because she is spending way too much time staring at herself in the bathroom mirror or looking at some of the TV programs just mentioned and seeing the successful end products. The wrong answer is, “You look fine. Stop asking me.” A good answer is, “You change anything, and I’m changing it back. I want the woman I fell in love with, not some Barbie doll.” Then try distracting her with “Do you think that I need hair implants?” Or, you might say, “Can I borrow that wrinkle cream since you don’t need it.” The song, “I Love You Just the Way You Are” would be appropriate here as with an earlier question about looks. I came across a great poem, author unknown, titled, “I Love All of You.” Some of its lyrics are perfect for this question. “I love all of you, your nose, your lips, your hair, your feet, I will never stop loving you, you are so amazingly sweet.” Then, throw in a few lyrics from Cole Porter’s “All of You,” such as, “I love the looks of you, and the lure of you, the sweet of you, and the pure of you, the eyes, the arms, and the mouth of you, the east, west, north, and the south of you.” Your wife will be so shocked at your knowing such emotionally sensitive lyrics, and then your applying them to her, that you will get the emphasis off anything about her changing at all.

Let’s consider one more of those questions wives ask their husbands that have baffled men in the past about how to answer properly. This one is sure to come up someday, “Do you remember when we went to (emotionally charged event you claim you didn’t attend)?” She is asking because she’s nostalgic for the good old days and wishing she felt that close to you again. Don’t answer with, “You sure that wasn’t with your old boyfriend? I don’t think I was there.” The right answer, “All I remember is how gorgeous you were. Everything else is a blur.” I don’t know how to top that one!

Thank you Beth Levine for helping husbands down the right path to knowing how to answer some of life’s greatest questions our wives will probably ask us someday. As she stated in her closing statements to her article, “OK, guys, got it now? If you’re feeling confident and you want to improvise your own answers, fine. Just remember: We women want the truth, but the truth filtered through love.” Men, for those times when you find yourself at a loss about the right way to answer your wife’s question, remember that the Lord knows what we have need of before we ask Him (Matt. 6:8). Pray and ask Him to provide the miracle you need at that moment. And, remember, that simple words like “I’m sorry,” “I was wrong,” “Will you forgive me,” “I love you,”can go a long way.

“MAKING A DIFFERENCE FOR JESUS IN 2021″
JUDE 1-2, 14-23
A SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR AMERICA ON JULY 4, 2021

One day Jude felt constrained to write to a group of people about what he called “the common salvation,” but it appears that the Holy Spirit impressed him to write about the importance and apparent urgency of contending for the faith. By the way, the Holy Spirit has every right to change your plan–what you’re going to do, going to write, going to say, where you’re going. God knows your name, your house number, your zip code, your telephone number, your social security number, your driver’s license number, your employment number, your birth certificate number.

If He calls you up today or tonight, don’t send Him back a busy signal. The Holy Spirit knew what was coming in the last days. You could write 07/04/21 over this text. He knew what was coming for such a time as this. He gave a written admonition in a permanent record of what we ought to do. In these last days of heresy, apostasy, and widespread hypocrisy, it is incumbent to earnestly contend for the faith, to strive vigorously as if it is a life and death struggle–like mortal combat–to stand unhesitatingly, unapologetically, compassionately, and patiently in defense of the faith.

God uses instruments like you and me to go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature. Don’t look for anything else to be delivered–no more Divine Revelation, visions, dreams to make known the plans of God. How can we add anything to what is infinitely perfect–God’s Word. The Bible is complete as it is, ultimate, final, finished with no needed revisions, no perversions, no addendum. God’s Word is absolute, and when God finished it, He finished.

Don’t ask God for a resume of His past performances, for personal references, for His credentials, for His business card, or His ID. It’s all in the Book. Don’t ask God to repeat Himself, to change His mind, for a second opinion, to rescind His commandments, or to soften His commands. His mentality toward sin has not changed. He doesn’t tolerate sin in your life or mine any more than He did Adam or Eve’s. When God dials you number, don’t ask “Who’s calling?” When God speaks, every sensible believer recognizes his Voice. He always speaks with a tongue that never slips, writes with a pen that doesn’t blot, and acts with a hand that never fails.

It’s time to stand up for Jesus. What an analysis of the need of this hour. When a significant portion of the 6 billion souls inhabiting the planet have turned a deaf ear to God and set themselves on a path of destruction, we need to be MAKING A DIFFERENCE FOR JESUS. Perilous times are before us (2 Tim. 3:1). It’s not time to hide ourselves in a bunker to avert the Lord’s return. It’s time to act.

To make a difference for Jesus for Jesus in 2021, more than ever before we need to stand up for Jesus and stand on the Word. At the same time, we need to stand against Satan and stand firm.

Stand against Satan by recognizing the enemy, recognizing his strategy, realizing his weakness (Jesus and the Word of God), and realizing victory.

Stand firm by realizing that saying it is not enough, but you must remain strong and sincere, standing firm in sufferings. A significant moral and spiritual decline can be traced back in our country to the atheitizing of our public schools in 1962 when prayer was ruled unconstitutional in a public school, then in 1963 reading the Bible in a school was ruled unconstitutional. The 10 Commandments were taken out in 1980. And, now God is out.

Some other major factors in America’s moral and spiritual decline: erasing of Sabbath Day restrictions where Sundays became like any other day of the week; the errancy and irrelevancy of the Bible; arguing among churches/Christians about most anything, especially non-essentials of the faith; erasing of what used to be considered sin; an arrogant society with an overemphasis on sports stars and superstars in various professions.

The lyrics below of a song I composed in 1981, are so relevant for right now, July 4, 2021. Let’s recommit to make a difference for Jesus. He gave His all for me; I will give my best for Him. Let’s join together to be a difference for Jesus by standing up for Jesus, standing on the Word, standing against Satan, and standing firm.

I WANT TO BE A DIFFERENCE

1ST VERSE

AS NEVER BEFORE IN THE AGE OF THIS WORLD THE TIME HAS COME TO SHOW WHOSE SIDE YOU’RE ON;
FOR GOD’S PEOPLE IT’S TIME TO SPEAK OUT AND BE HEARD; WITH NO REGRETS I WANT TO LET MY STAND BE KNOWN.

CHORUS

I WANT TO BE A DIFFERENCE WHEN MOST OTHERS ARE GIVING IN;
I WANT TO BE LIKE JESUS; I WANT TO LIVE FOR HIM.

2ND VERSE

THROUGH HIS WORD FROM THE BEGINNING GOD’S MADE IT CLEAR FOR EVERYONE WHAT HE EXPECTS FROM THE CREATION HE HAS MADE;
IF YOU’RE NOT FOR ME YOU’RE AGAINST ME HE SPOKE THROUGH CHRIST, HIS SON;
IF YOU’RE ON GOD’S SIDE HIS WORD YOU WILL OBEY.

REPEAT 1ST CHORUS

3RD VERSE

BUT LIKE A ROARING LION THE DEVIL IS ALWAYS SEEKING OUT NEW PREY AND MILLIONS HAVE BEEN SWAYED BY HIS CUNNING LIES;
TO MAKE YOU THINK THE HOLY BIBLE IS OUTDATED FOR TODAY IS A SCHEME HE’S USING TO GET YOU ON HIS SIDE.

4TH VERSE

BUT THE WORD OF GOD IS NOT TO BE MISUSED AND COMPROMISED LIKE TODAY AS NEVER BEFORE IN HISTORY;
IF YOU STAND FIRM AND WON’T GIVE IN YOU’LL BE MOCKED AND CRITICIZED, BUT IN THE END THROUGH THE BLOOD OF CHRIST YOU’LL KNOW VICTORY.

CHORUS

I WANT TO BE THE DIFFERENCE IF ALL OTHERS ARE GIVING IN;
I WANT TO BE LIKE JESUS, I WANT TO LIVE FOR HIM.

FINAL CHORUS

DO YOU WANT TO BE A DIFFERENCE WHEN MOST OTHERS ARE GIVING IN;
GIVE FIRST PLACE IN YOUR LIFE TO JESUS, IF YOU WANT TO LIVE FOR HIM;
I WANT TO BE LIKE JESUS, I WANT TO BE A DIFFERENCE FOR HIM.

© 1981, 2021 Bobby Mullins

“WOMEN ARE LIKE CATS; MEN ARE LIKE DOGS”
(From a sermon by Dr. Bobby Mullins at Central Baptist Church, Oak Ridge, TN 081907)

WOMEN ARE LIKE CATS:

A common comparison used to illustrate how men and women are different uses cats and dogs, with cats representing females and dogs representing males.

Some characteristics of cats, that may be somewhat similar to women, is that:
They are finicky and picky and spend a good portion of their day grooming. Cats are moody. They can be totally unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They like to cuddle and rub against you.
They purr, and only when they are in a fight do they get loud with their screeching. Cats like to taunt their prey. I have observed our cat play and toy with a chipmunk for an hour without killing it. My wife and I usually try to free the chipmunk, and sometimes succeed, but our cat usually finds it again.
Cats leave hair all over the place, but other than that, they like to keep things clean, cleaning themselves and cleaning up after themselves when they use their litter box.
They don’t beg you for things by jumping on you or wagging their tail. They have penetrating eyes and seem to communicate with you through their quiet manner what they want you do for them. They are not very trainable animals who will go fetch the paper or chase the ball. You just won’t see a pack of eight cats hooked up together pulling a sled with a man guiding them as a means of travel through the snow. But, they have a way of getting done what they need you to do.

MEN ARE LIKE DOGS: 

What about dogs? How may men be somewhat like dogs?

As cats will taunt their prey for an extended period of time, dogs tend to consume their prey at once. Dogs like instant gratification. They want to please you and will do just about whatever you ask them to do. They like to be petted and told how good a dog they are. Throw them a bone or give them a dog biscuit, and you can get them to roll over or do other tricks. They will get the newspaper for you just for a snack or your praise. They will work for you if you simply make it worth their while and reward them for it.
They love to play. They will chase after a tennis ball you throw them over and over and over again.
They love to compete. If more than one dog is around, and you throw the ball, they all run at full pace to try to get it.
They are loyal. They’ll love you forever if you rub their tummy. It doesn’t take much to gain their affection.
Yes, they love to play. They love to eat. When you pour food in their bowls outside, they can hear you clear on the other side of the house with the air conditioning units humming next to where they are sleeping in the shade. They can hear you open food in another room of the house, and if the food is for you, they want some, even when they just ate a few minutes earlier.
That’s because dogs are great at begging. They will paw on you, and nudge you, and jump up on you just to get some food or to get you to pet them or praise them or play with them.
They do tend to leave their toys everywhere.
They put their noses and mouths on everything and then want to come up and lick you in the face. Yes, ladies, if you can overlook some of the ways dogs are because they’re dogs, you won’t find anything more lovable or loyal.

Are men like dogs? Well, they can be your best friend. Men are not that complicated. Like dogs can be trained to work such as being sled dogs, when their work is over it doesn’t take much to please them. Feed them. Play with them. Let them sleep. Then feed them again. Play with them again, and when you have more time to play with them, play with them more than usual. Let them get their sleep. And, give them time to themselves. I’ve noticed with our dog, and dogs in both yards next to us and behind us, that when they aren’t sleeping, they stay busy just moving around the yard. Sometimes, they bark at each other. Sometimes, they all bark at something together. They even howl together when the occasion lends to it. Dogs are a different breed of animal from cats. Dogs do chase cats. But, that’s not necessarily a bad trait when saying that cats are like women and men are like dogs. Just keep feeding your husband what he likes, keep playing with him the games he likes to play, and let him sleep when he needs to, and you’ll be the only cat he chases after. And, isn’t that what most every woman wants in a man? A husband whose attention, adoration, and affection is exclusively upon his wife.